The day has come and gone on this 20th of January in 2017. Donald Trump has been sworn in as the 45th President of the United States, and like his predecessors, Trump gave an inaugural address during today's ceremony. Lots of pundits, of course, have spent today closely analyzing, scrutinizing, praising, and whatever-else-ing Trump's speech. Like everyone of these pundits, I have personal thoughts about the events that have transpired today as well, but, rather than simply contribute to the discordant cacophony of punditry a contrived opinion of my own, I'm choosing to do something more constructive (or at least less politically volatile ) in an effort to offer something of novel import to discussion about President Trump's address. Rather than qualitatively sift through every word and nuance of Trump's inaugural address, I'll do something political science-y: use some textual analysis techniques to leverage quantifiable insights from Trump's speech. The